#never before have i wanted to become a professional artist so bad

[the-sage-libriomancer]

ARE THOSE THE FUCKING POWERPUFF GIRLS

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

౨ৎ ⋆˚ masterpost ࿔ ෆ ⋆

tarot decks ✶ pac readings ✶ ko-fi page

✶ ✶ ✶ personal reading services ✶ ✶ ✶

most images are from pinterest, others are mine, dividers by @v6que

₊˚⊹ ʚɞ ‧₊˚ ♡ about me 𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧₊

Hello there, my name Gigi, I'm a social studies nerd, a visual artist and some people call me a bruja, they're right but it's usually said with bad intentions. This is a blog where I mostly do whatever I find fun and helpful. I was raised around a great diversity of esoteric traditions but I'm also a nerd about it so of course I had to learn the old, the new, the conventional, the non conventional, the light, the dark, etc. I begin my training as a tarot reader and my esoteric journey at the age of 12, by 15 I was already allowed to share my practices with others (yes I'm kinda a burned out gifted kid tbh and it's not a flex), which is what I'm the most passionate about. I've been working on and off as a professional tarot reader, but mostly in spanish (I live in the countryside of a south american country). So I decided to try out doing it online as a side hustle, since to be honest, working as a tarot reader brings me a deep sense of joy and contempt. Personally I believe that the best part about reading cards for other's relies on the fact that it's a valuable learning experience for both parts, and it's beautiful to see someone grow and face any adversities they have in their way. At the moment, I'm working full time as a tarot reader/astrology reader on an app for esoteric practitioners, and also running this blog, hoping it becomes a nice space for anyone who is into approaching tarot by embracing all the possibilities it has to offer. My work on the app (I can't name it because of my contract) is mostly oriented to predictive and esoteric approaches, I also do a lot more astrology there nowadays, so this blog is less about predictions and spirituality and more about making mysticism, philosophy and esoteric traditions more practical to everyday life without taking away the depth or the power coming from this knowledge.

･˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ *˚ about my work ⁺ ✦ * .

Before you get to checking what's there to do, I'd like to say that I basically been reading tarot's for most of my conscious life, and I've seen and heard plenty of different perspectives, situations, and so on.  After that I came to the conclusion that the most important thing for me whenever I'm offering my reading services, is that you and I can sort of work together on how the reading gets done. 

My biggest concern when reading for others is that I can communicate the messages from the tarot in a way that's efficient for both of us. I'm always willing to learn and listen without judging, because that way both of us can find the most meaningful and valuable way to approach the reading. 

That's the reason why I specify the length of the readings and the main idea behind them but I don't limit too much the possibilities of what can be asked specifically on that reading. When I read for others, I'm more concerned about respecting and embracing their experiences and thoughts when it comes to tarot, than to impose mine. Not everyone is down for a spiritual experience, not everyone needs the shadow work, or the practical jungian stuff, maybe you don't want to know about the future, or you do but only about the good, and so on.  

To sum it up:

ꕤ I value individuality, empathy and mutual respect, therefore i will never judge, discriminate or belittle the thoughts and experiences of anyone. 

ꕤ My focus here is to make sure everyone has the possibility to find knowledge in a way that's helpful and meaningful to their personal and spiritual development. 

ꕤ It is important to find the best way in which tarot can bring something of value to our lives, and this is highly personal to anyone involved in the process of the reading. 

¿? how to book a reading ¿? & some useful info about my work <3

some disclaimers first:

no readings about serious health issues, no readings concerning financial advice or legal advice.

readings can be cancelled with a refund only before 2 days have passed.

you will get a total refund if i do not complete the reading before the delivery date agreed upon. 

needed information

for me, it is necessary to know the following: 

-your name, nickname, initials or how i should refer to you. 

-your date of birth, bonus points if you also have your time of birth or a natal chart you are willing to share if interested in incorporating astrology into the reading <3 

(if there's anyone else whose involvement is relevant to the reading, i'm okay with just their name, but knowing their date of birth is quite useful)

-your contact information or your preferred method of communication. (my options at the moment  tumblr dms, messages on this app, and e-mail. I am willing to consider other options too!)

-how would you like to receive your reading: there's the pdf option, you can ask for a link or the file itself and there's the option of me just sending you a DM or an e-mail. 

some more disclaimers and useful info

✿  feel free to pick a specific tarot deck for your reading :) 

✿ i will reach out to you whenever i start working on your reading, to agree on the time of delivery, check the information you provided, and ask you if there's anything you would like me to know before i get started. you can reach out to me anytime too.

✿  i might write you during the process of doing the reading if anything major pops up and you can also feel free to hit up if something happens that you feel I should know of.

✿ i'm bilingual, so if you're and spanish speaker, let me know if you want the reading to be done in spanish. 

✿ after sending you the reading, i'm available to discuss it further and clarify anything that wasn't clear about it. 

♡ ‧˚Timeless Pick a Pile Readings ౨ৎ

♡ Comprehending Late Night Thoughts ♡

♡ Random Messages From the Tarot ♡ (1)

♡ still fucked up? here's a pick a pile reading ♡

♡ guidance to the heart ♡

♡ Mid Week Energy Check ♡

♡ a tarot reading just in case you need to remember this: it's okay to be a bitch. ♡

♡ small pieces of advice ♡

♡ how and why do you love ♡

♡ sea bunny plushies and random tarot messages ♡

♡ emotional attachment and distorted perceptions... ♡

♡ what's keeping you away from genuine ways of expressing yourself? ♡

♡ finding a lover ♡

♡ love advice from the tarot ♡

♡ random messages from the tarot ♡ (2)

˚₊‧ა ♡ ໒ decks used ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡

ཐིཋྀ Santa Muerte Tarot Deck

ཐིཋྀ Rider Waite Smith

ཐིཋྀ Night Sun Tarot

ཐིཋྀ Santa Muerte Oracle Deck

ཐིཋྀ The Great Esoteric Tarot

ཐིཋྀ Thoth's Tarot

ཐིཋྀ Nicoletta Ceccoli's Tarot

{click here to see reference pictures of them }

꒱ྀི ১ ౨ৎ personal readings •ू ♡ ♡ ♡

[betterbemeta]

I think AI Art exploits and degrades not just artists, but every single person who looks at it in some ways because 'how we look at art' is part of art itself.

This principle is super easy to experience as an artist. All you have to do is practice and reach a plateau where things you did before seem worse to you, that felt great at the time you made them. Your ability to see art changes as you make art, and as you view art.

It's not snobby to say that there is a low average level of 'seeing' art. There's also a low average level of seeing technical design, or seeing weather patterns, or seeing copy editing mistakes and that's why we have architects and engineers, meteorologists, and professional editors. I think a lot about this bit by Scott McCloud in Understanding Comics:

Like the point here is not that 'most people are superficial', but that the surface of art is what most people are familiar with. And it is this basic familiarity that I believe AI Art exploits to fake integrity, something that even the most well-known laughably 'bad art' still technically has.

Like, laugh all you want but effort went into the surface of this art such that it appeared 'okay' to the one who made it, and to those who maybe aren't paying attention or see that its colored and shaded first, the anatomy last. It relies sort of on your familiarity with 'what art looks like' to accept it, but not completely. Someone did work to try and earn your acceptance even if, uh, it's not very good in some ways.

But AI Art relies fully on how unfamiliar you are with art. Let's call this principle 'glamour'.

At first 'the glamour' is unconvincing: this is during the AI's training. But the first 'pass' is the threshold where information builds up about how to reproduce a minimally acceptable image. This is where the glamour is set: the minimum accuracy to convince a human being to fill in its gaps. To basically capture their imagination. From there, front-end use of the machine learning model is released for general users, and it is those users who then select out of many outputs which glamour fools them most. As the other half of this system, the hidden decision-maker, humans are also 'learning' familiarity with the glamour: comparing it to not just our surface knowledge but to itself. We have left reality.

A good example of this can be seen in AI-generated pictures of fiber crafts. It's possible that traditional or digital artist might not be perfect with their drawing or perspective or coloring etc. or may stylistically push the boundaries of perspective or form on purpose. But for a knit, crocheted, or sewn piece a final product often can't exist without its craft having physical integrity:

Aside from the issues that are obvious (fake tilt shift photography with no consistent field of blur, a spaghetti yarn ball, unknown stitch on the vest, no comprehensible seam between the arm and the body, etc.) here are some things that stick out to me to knowing even a little about knitting,

The fake stockinette on the helmet is confused about whether it is completed horizontally or vertically: vertical on the headband (many hats terminate this way, so there are plenty of images to sample) but indecisive when it has to become a round hat shape.

The number of rows on the arms is inconsistent, decreasing strangely where a k2tog would never be.

There is no consistent way the hands make sense, if they are 'mittens' or if the stockinette ridges become 'fingers'.

We can't see how the bottom of the foot was finished: the left foot either began or was decreased to meet at a central point but it doesn't match the right foot and it's not clear how either foot keeps it shape.

Beyond the plagiarism of the images that went into generating AI outputs, your diminishing time to learn about/be exposed to 'things' (beyond just 'art,' anything that isn't essential to your survival) will become increasingly exploited in the future. If left unchecked, images like these will represent not only novelties or etsy scams but a large amount of people's exposure to 'things' in general. Which then leads to something like AI inbreeding (AI generating based on AI), except like... with you.

When people are more familiar with a glamour than 'the real thing', even superficially.

Exploitation of this type isn't even a new thing. It's just that AI can speed it up or extend it to new spheres. Anyone can see a physical table and think 'this table is crap' if it's poor quality because of how much we use tables and our knowledge of what tables are and should do. But I think the blog McMansion Hell actually illustrates a real, practical situation where the familiarity level with a craft (architecture) is low and standards lower to meet it. These hulks were certainly built to invoke 'glamour', but when closely inspected, they have the design equivalent of 12 fingers or bra straps bleeding into someone's skin.

Another easy example might be the excessive 'glamour' that surrounds selling cars in the USA. Very few people will buy enough cars to become more than superficially familiar with them and the amount of people who are car-related professionals is negligible next to the number of people who require a car.

Both cars and houses are expensive purchases that are made relatively infrequently, which is why their brokers and dealers can bet against a customer's average level of knowledge. But soon, many more things may become like buying houses or cars: obscured by glamour.

AI Art relies on you to be a sucker, just like how a sketchy sales rep depends on you to be a sucker. Except even worse than the sales rep, your brain is expected to not just be dumb and inexperienced, but also to get actively dumber over time from doing all the work too.

[barananduen]

Art Advice: How to Have a Positive Outlook

Welcome to the next Art Advice Article in the series! This time, we'll talk about tactics you can use to not feel discouraged when things don't turn out the way you want.

🌳It Happens to Everyone

If it gives you some consolation, know the fact that everyone screws up sometimes, even professionals. People just tend to not show their screw-ups, so it's easy to make the false assumption that everything they do is wonderful and they never mess up. Just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Mistakes and work the artist doesn't like happen to everyone at all levels. It's completely normal!

🌳Changing Your Outlook about Mistakes

When we draw something that doesn't come out how we intended it, keeping these two things in mind will help you move forward. We'll introduce the ideas first and then expand on them below.

Mistakes are necessary for progress. Every time something doesn't come out "right," we get one step closer to getting to the point where it does come out just the way we want it (perhaps even better!). We just need to keep trying and not give up.

You can use humor to not let it get you down. Laugh at your own mistakes. You don't have to show them to others if you don't want to, but YOU can laugh at your own screw-ups. It will help you not feel bad about them.

🌱Expanding on #1: Mistakes are Necessary for Progress

Whenever something doesn't come out right, you will (should) work on fixing it, if not in that drawing, then in the next one(s). These are the stepping stones necessary for perfecting your craft. Think of it like defeating baddies in a video game: you can't level up without overcoming those obstacles.

I know people say it so much that it's almost become a cliche, but it's true: practicing is necessary to get to where you want to be. Art is like a sport: you're not going to become a goal-scoring machine without having first spent time standing in front of the goal shooting balls at it during training, and then doing it while moving and with other players in the way (add obstacles/change scenarios). When I used to go to conventions, I would see people sitting on the floor or wherever with their sketchbooks, drawing all the time; then the people in the artists' alley were always drawing while at their table.

🌱Expanding on #2: Using Humor

This is easier explained with a story, so I'll tell you of a time I wanted to learn how to draw panthers. I'd never drawn one before, so I drew a few.

One looked like Bart the bear, that big brown (Kodiak) bear that you used to get in all the movies.

So I LOLed at it and took a look at my bear cosplaying as a wannabe-panther and tried to figure out why it looked like a bear instead of a panther - aha! the lower jaw was too long. I made it shorter. Also, the eye was too round.

(Note: At the time, I didn't know I was going to use this for an article, so I didn't scan it before corrections; I've drawn over the scan to show what it originally looked like.)

I drew another, but it looked like a cute shiba-inu instead. I drew a bow on it and some blush; had another laugh. I looked at my shiba-inu cosplaying a hello-kitty panther and tried to find out what made it look like a shiba-inu instead of a panther. The jaw was STILL too long.

I left my shiba-inu/hello-kitty because it was funny and drew another one, this time with an even shorter lower jaw. Still not right. Made the lower jaw thicker from gum to chin.

Repeat, repeat, repeat drawing more panthers until I got one I liked. Then I drew it again. Then I drew it from another angle to make sure I'd gotten the hang of it.

🌳Closing

So, when you have something you don't like:

Remember that this happens to everyone.

Mistakes make progress.

Don't be harsh on yourself, laugh at it instead.

Look closely to see exactly what about it seems "off," then you can work on those bits.

Once you get it right, try again a couple more times to cement the knowledge.

Last, but very important: don't drown in your mistakes, always stop and appreciate what you did RIGHT! There is plenty of good stuff, but, in general, we, as humans, tend to overlook it and focus on the negative things. Don't. While it's important to learn from our mistakes, it's also important to recognize our successes so we can build on them. Do not neglect your strengths!

And remember to enjoy the process of what you're doing! 💖

Happy arting! ~B~

🌳More Art Advice Articles

You can find the index to all Art Advice Articles [here]

[schro4444]

thank u I'm gonna now rotate all those specific Family Shenanigans my mind like a rottisserie chicken

but YES!! EXACTLY!!! like ik the (boring) answer as to why we weren't shown the learning curve was ANIME but his parents are genuinely so weird and extra and THIEVES THEMSELVES I'm 1000% certain that the answer was HIGH-OCTANE CHILDHOOD like...look at bby kaito...in one (1) panel w Toichi and already popping up right in front of his Professional ThiefTM dad without Toichi realizing, what a menace, I love him.

About Toichi though...... I would ALSO have wanted to see THAT learning process and I'm kinda bitter it was never mentioned actually. gimme the Chikage training Toichi montage!!! like, weird penchant for standing inside tower exhibits in the dark and memorizing laser grids to impress ladythieves aside, as far as we know he was just a weird little magician man who suddenly decided to become a thief, and while his being an escape artist would have useful applications on his budding career as a thief there are lotssss of things being a magician doesn't cover. Plus it was Chikage who was known as the Woman of Twenty Faces! why did they suddenly make TOICHI the expert in disguise who taught Vineyard and Yukiko! like yeah I buy Chikage being gleefully retired (izumi curtis "I'm a housewife!" vibes but like gleeful instead of menacing) until Toichi's death but like...waste of potential man...at least a mention abt her teaching Toichi would be nice...........

no boring answers in this household, only SHEER SHENANIGAN POTENTIAL!!! like, what else are you supposed to do as two (2) happily married overdramatic phantom thieves/theater kids with a super genius baby who has an improbably high iq and a photographic memory? OBVIOUSLY you train him in the family business without telling him that's what's going on. and OBVIOUSLY he gets ridiculously good at it by the time he's in first grade. quoting some old tags of mine: shapeshifting nightmare baby that can already pick locks. he's impossible to babysit!!! my favorite gremlin.

YOURE SO RIGHT. i want this prequel so bad. oh my goodness. he was just a Really Good Magic Nerd, that'll only carry you so far!! eventually my guy had to learn from his beloved wife how to break open safes and avoid snipers!! I kinda like the idea that maybe they combined their knowledge on disguises--maybe toichi was more on the acting side of things while chikage had the latex, lol--to make the Ultimate Disguise (enter kaito, stage left). the woman of twenty literal faces + some guy with a mustache who could probably convince you that the sky turned green, through sheer charisma

chikage: so what was your plan for getting out? have you memorized the blueprints yet? I've counted at least twenty potential escape routes for you, as long as you're feeling agile enough to get through the vents, hehehe toichi: well you see toichi: I was going to. um. talk my way out chikage: chikage: sweetie you were going to What toichi: IT ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME BEFORE

[changingplumbob]

New name incoming

I'd recommend reading at least part 9 if not part 10 of the latest York chapter before reading on because spoilers.

I'm not going to go in depth to her choice in the story but I found a name I think is perfect for my evil bean and want to talk about it. I'll be mentioning the person she'll be named after and in talking about her there will be a mention of sexual assault. Not descriptive or anything, just giving a heads up.

So how does one pick a name worthy of female Kelly? By googling femme fatale characters obviously. I mean she is evil so she's absolutely going to entrap someone with her looks eventually. Funny enough I was already looking these up trying to get a name for her praying mantis. None of the names really gave the vibe I wanted though so had to do some deeper thinking.

I love the movie The Awakening, it's great! I love thrillers in general, give me a movie with some jump scares and minimal gore and I will be delighted. There is a scene where the main character talks about a painting on the wall entitled Judith slaying Holofernes. I'd stick a picture in but... blood. Anyway Judith snuck into the enemy camp and seduced the general. When he was passed out drunk she did the logical thing. She cut off his head which saved her city from his tyranny. Talk about a thing I could see Kelly doing.

Unfortunately I don't like the name Judith for her. I thought I could maybe shorten it to Judy but it still didn't fit her. So I decided to look into who painted the picture and friends that is when inspiration struck! It was painted by a female Italian so talk about perfect, if you haven't noticed by now the Yorks are Italian. The painter was Artemisia Gentileschi. I loved the name, then I googled some info about the painter and I fell in love with the name even more.

Artemisia is apparently one of the best artists of the 17th century. Of course I'd never heard of her before because she was a woman *grumbles at society*. She was apparently painting professionally at 15! Of course another thing that pops up if you google her is that she was sexually assaulted. In the struggle she did do some damage to his "manhood" through, go girl! Eventually her father pressed charges against the jerk for... degrading the honour of his family *sighs*. Artemisia had to undergo the stupid ye olde "virgin test" and had to testify while undergoing minor torture because apparently that was how you proved your accusations were truthful??? Anyway after all that nonsense was done she went on to become extremely successful, even selling works internationally.

My data has mainly been gathered from the wikipedia article on her and a piece in the New Yorker which was really long so admittedly I did not read all of it. I didn't have to because I already liked the name. I also watched this youtube video which told me how to pronounce her name properly.

So in the next part of the York chapter Kelly will become

Artemisia, shortened to Emi or Emisia (I've been calling her Emi in my head, I just like long names)

Thought I would explain here rather than in story. Like of course Kelly would like to take the name of a woman who painted several versions of a dude getting beheaded by a woman. Common sense.

Eventually her family may call her shortened versions, they want to try stick to her new name properly at the moment. Problem is Misia and Sia are also Italian words that are not names... so it'll probably be Emi or Emisia eventually, feel free to call her the short version, that's what I've been doing. For now though, she will delight in making others feel bad when they can't say her name properly.

[louisupdates]

Louis’ quotes from The Times article: Louis Tomlinson: ‘When One Direction split I was mortified and bitter. It felt like another loss’

The singer on life after the boy band, grieving his mother and sister, and why he would ‘be up for’ a reunion, as he releases a film (24.2.23)

I’ve always had a problem with ‘ego’, and I’ve always been worried about being one of those people in the public eye who just loses all sense of reality, and becomes an arsehole. I’m from Doncaster.

If someone does come up after an hour to ask for a selfie, I won’t say no and I won’t run away, especially if I’m three pints deep!

With this job, there’s so much room for overthinking, you know? Someone from the record label will tell you they like your stuff, but you find yourself thinking: yeah, but do they? It’s the fans that help you really believe in yourself.

I do miss the boys, and I do definitely miss being one of the five, but I like doing my own thing too. It was time.

This is a confidence game for anyone, and there’s been plenty of moments of vulnerability throughout the entire process.

Only Harry knows what he means there. It’s hard to speculate. But we all came from relatively humble beginnings, and now we are where we are.

Some of the things that have happened recently have been quite drastic, yeah, but then so much in my life seems to have been pretty extreme, one way or the other. There’ve been challenging times, definitely. It’s funny, but I couldn’t even tell you how many years ago my mum passed, I just blank it out. But for the first 18 months, I’d take any form of bad luck personally. I’d feel every tiny thing. But now I genuinely feel I’ve come out the other side. I feel more empathy for everything and everyone these days.

It was mostly amicable. Simon always had my best interests at heart, and I liked him. He had his faults of course, like all of us, but it was always inevitable I’d have to go off and do my own thing.

[Being able to write with artists rather than songwriters] was a big difference, huge. These are people who live and breathe music. It’s the first time I felt really comfortable doing my own stuff, you know?

When I was in the band, working with professional songwriters whose entire aim was to write the hit single, they’d tell me that singing in my natural accent wasn’t commercial. Sorry, but what a shit idea. Who wants to sound like everybody else? I dumbed down a little bit in the band, because you do, but I’ve learnt who I am now.

Well, being a role model for one. I never wanted that. I always had to worry whether it was OK if, say, I was seen here or if I could get away with smoking a joint there, before concluding: hmm, probably not. But I never wanted to be the perfect pop star, especially in the climate of Instagram. I don’t want to put an artificial world out there. I think it’s important that people see your scars, your flaws.

When One Direction split up, I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted. I was a bit bitter, I suppose, because it just felt like another loss to me. But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is. Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now, but I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that.

Well, it’s not a surprise is it? We were always aware that Harry fit that mould, and it’s been an amazing thing to watch. Envy? At the start maybe, when I was trying to find my feet, but it’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others, is it? These days I’m learning to elevate myself in those moments when I have to. I didn’t know how to do that before, but now? Now I know I fucking can.

[zerotoheroart]

Hello! My name is JT and I suck at drawing. Lol. But I’m not beating myself up about it. I’ve done that for years already and I’m over that. So, just to bring you up to speed. I am in my late 20s and I’ve been drawing since I was about 19, so nearly ten years now of drawing almost every day. There’s just one problem, I leveled up in skill at around 22, or 23 and stopped. I haven’t gotten any better in any noticeable way since I was in my early 20s and I’ve finally become mature enough to admit why I still suck. I. Did. Not. Practice. Correctly. They say that practice makes perfect, but the reality is that perfect practice makes perfect. If you practice to do something the wrong way, you won’t learn how to do that thing correctly. It’s just as plain as that. 

For the longest time, I felt like drawing was a magical thing, a gift bestowed upon the gods chosen few to be able to put pencil to paper and create worlds, objectify nature, tell stories, and just generally wow the socks off people. This is not the way it works, but for years I thought that to be the case. So although I’ve always wanted to be an artist and tell super cool stories, I never practiced drawing because when I was a kid I drew a picture as part of a school project and everyone laughed at it because it was so bad. (It was a picture of Pikachu from Pokemon and it was so awful the good artist in the class drew a picture of pikachu right next to mine just to show how much better she was than me). Anywho, mild childhood trauma aside, I didn’t try to draw seriously again until I was 19 and in college. I was getting a graphic design degree, and for those who don’t know, you don’t need drawing skills to do graphic design. Making logos and whatnot requires a good eye for design, color theory, etc., but not drawing skills. That said, some of the students in my class were extremely good at drawing and it reminded me how much I wanted to be good at something like that, so I bought a sketchbook and started drawing. 

The problem was that I felt behind. I was 19 and most of the good artists in the class had been drawing since they were little kids, so I felt like I needed to find shortcuts to get gud quick! Basically I skipped right over the fundamentals and tried to use every shortcut imaginable to get to where I “wanted to be and should have been already”. I didn’t draw shapes, or work on perspective, or anatomy, or any of that crap. I didn’t have time! I needed to get good ASAP! So I brute forced that shit and skipped all the introductory stuff and went straight into characters, and architecture, and animals and animation….and I absolutely sucked. It wasn’t all bad, like I said before I got “better”, but never good, never to a level that would be considered professional by any means of the word. So I woke up with a rapidly approaching birthday realizing that I only had a short time before I was no longer a 20 something and became a 30 something. An existential crisis ensued. 

My best friend in the whole world is an amazing artist. They are a 3D animator, and they can draw the most badass shit you can imagine as well. Meanwhile, I drew like a ten year old after a couple art classes. Not that I am comparing myself to anyone else, but my friend is proof that studying art the right way is the best way. So I swallowed my pride, looked myself in the mirror, and said “JT, you aren’t getting better at art. You have to change the way you do things or one day you’ll be 50, 60, 70 not drawing any better than you are now!” So I decided to empty my cup, admit I was a rank amateur, and needed proper study. I am back to square one. I accept that. I am taking on the mindset that today is the first day that I am learning how to draw. It will be years before I get to a professional level, but practicing in a professional manner will actually get me there, as long as I persevere. So here today I am at the wax on wax off stage of art. I’m drawing basic shapes. Hundreds, and hundreds of basic shapes, every single day for at least the next 14 days. I aim to at least do ten pages of shapes a day. Once I can do this with confidence, I will move on to volume and practice drawing 3D shapes like spheres and cubes. 

I am writing this as a journal to not only motivate myself, but to hopefully motivate others to see someone go from zero to hero! I’m gonna be training like the main character from a shonen anime from now on until I get as strong at art as I can! My goal in life is to tell the one story I’ve always wanted to tell, and by jove I’m gonna do it. If you want to follow my journal and journey please stop by each week for new progress updates. I will be journaling this entire thing so that I can prove that with the right practice and effort ANYONE can become a good artist. Wish me luck!  

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 20 Group 99

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

Buddy Daddies fam: Kazuki Kurusu, Rei Suwa & Miri Unasaka

Submissions are still open!

Ken, An, Kohane & Akito:

I'm gonna go ahead and say right now, this is akito-centric. Like, Akito has a found family relationship with Ken, An and Kohane, but those three don't necessarily have a found family relationship with each other. An and Kohane are basically dating, Ken is Ab's biological father, and idk Kohane to Ken is just his daughter's girlfriend

ANYWAY. so Akito has an older sister named ena and their dad sucks balls. Ena's an aspiring painter, her dad is a successful painter, and he constantly tells her that she's not going to get anywhere and she doesn't have the "power to face the hardships that come with being a professional artist", under the guise of "protecting her". Akito's ena's younger brother, so he grew up seeing this happen. More on that later.

Akito is part of a group of street performers called vivid bad squad, comprised of Kohane, An, him and Toya. Originally, they were the vivids (an and kohane), and the bad dogs (Akito and toya), but they decided to fuse their names and become one unit because they all 4 had the same goal. That goal? To surpass rad weekend, a musical event so legendary, put on by An's father, they want to create an event better than that. The bad dogs met and had been working at that since around middle school, but An was still looking for a singing partner in highschool. Who does she partner with? Kohane, a timid girl who walked into her cafe asking for directions and got too scared to ask, with no experience in music other than seeing an sing (the cafe also has a concert area in it, that's what kohane walked in on). So she partners with kohane, tells akito and toya about this.

Remember that thing earlier about ena and akito's father? Yeah. AKITO does the same thing to Kohane. Calls her a talentless shrimp who will never be able to surpass rad weekend. The difference here though is that Akito recognizes kohanes genuine motivations and after that he does treat her like a little sister in a lot of ways.

Anyway, as stated above, papa shinonome sucks. Bad dad. An's dad though, ken? Good dad. Treats akito well. Has basically adopted him. So by extension his kid is his sibling and they sure do act like it. He and An have this outward banter of rivalry but they're playing, Akito loves her a lot, is willing to help her out of emotional ruts that he's been in before, like he really does care about her and she cares about him, teasing him whenever she gets the chance but expressing concern as he mistreats himself in Stray Bad Dog and breaks into the live house to sing with him when he goes up against Arata. (The picture below with an in the center and Toya and Kohane in the background is from Akito's perspective, and that's that scene)

Buddy Daddies fam:

They are so kdkxjdixj- too tired to rant unfortunately

I watched this anime yesterday and it hit me in the feels

[angletic]

How do you come up with the compositions for your comic pages? They look soooooo 👌

short answer is: i hardcore wing it

long answer: i have a very hard time visualizing things in my head. i go into something knowing the list of things i want to communicate and try to construct something thats aesthetically pleasing while accomplishing those goals. i personally think that its very good for me: i never feel bad for not reaching some insane standard in my head, because theres no standard in there. i just ask myself if i checked all the boxes on my list and if the page(s) look good, and if i did im satisfied!

as for page composition itself, thumbnailing is a super important part of the process for me. it helps me lay out not just the panels, but also the speech bubbles. never ever ever design a page and think you can add the speech bubbles wherever theres negative space: a comic is just as much words as it is art; treat them as equals.

i like to do thumbnails in batches (at least to the end of a scene) so i know how things flow together and i can ensure that the scene ends at the end of a page, and what pages are on an even or odd page (this informs the placement of page turns, which are very important when it comes to comics. theyre one of the few bits of control a comic artist has over their reader: the reader can turn the page whenever instead of having media happen At them as an a show/podcast. The reader controls the story and its flow in a sense. however, page turns reef control back from the reader and force them to engage with the author on their terms: you may get to control WHEN you see what comes next, but you do not get an inclination as to what that is. you allow them to subconsciously build up the the change/shift in space/jump in time in their head as a scene ends, or the suspense of what could be on the next page if your scene is dramatic. very important both for doing shocking scenes, but also for differentiate between soft and hard scene transitions.)

im also very careful to minmax the number of panels i need to execute a scene. use the minimum number of panels to communicate the most information possible. when i was first learning to comic way back in my syrup steals days, i had to teach myseld to not clutter a page with smaller panels (this was an especially frequent issue with eye panels. i looved having a small panel at the corner of a larger one just showing a characters' eyes reacting. while effective in small doses, this clutters up your pages like crazy). you have to be comfortable leaving things implied and trusting your audience will get it.

i also do not fuck around with establishing shots. even a lot of professional comic artists will only use them at the beginning of a scene and typically its just one big wide shot, which works for movies where scenes are in motion (motion inherently implies space better than a still image), but not so much for comics. i think its both more engaging and informative to microdose on establishing shots at all times. one establishing shot will never be enough to describe where characters are fully. i think its good to get in the habit of treating environments like characters themselves: you want everyone to see every angle of your oc? do that with your environments. it both breaks up the monotony/prevents you from shot-reverse-shot-ing, and also provides a lot of visual information about the space a character is in (and gives lots of opportunities to foreshadow!). this is especially important to do in action scenes: it is so damn easy to lose where a character is in a fight scene, to the point where it just becomes visual noise. you NEED the space characters are in to be well-established before and during a hectic scene, or readers will get lost and be unable to fill in the gap.

of course you need to be efficient here as well: minmax your panels! do establishing shots while characters are talking! explore the space in interesting ways even when something not that visually interesting is going on!

really, the constant dynamic establishment of location, minmaxxing of panels, and equal treatment of panels and speech bubbles are what i think are the most important things when it comes to page layout. this sort of became an Angs Guide To Comicking lol, but i tihnk its useful information. thank you for asking!!

[medics-secret-shipfic-folder]

Love your art!! Just wanted to say that after re-reading the comics I noticed Scout Greg say something along the lines of “boss going crazy…” and it makes me wonder if Chevy was softer/less aggressive when he worked for Mann Co.?

Obviously from the photo in the comics he’s pretty tough looking, but it really makes you wonder if he was less controlling before becoming obsessed w immortality, which would explain why everyone was so willing to come back and help him initially

Hi there, and thank you for the compliment! I know I'm not a professional artist, but I do hope to be a truly great artist one day.

As for the comics - yeah, that actually comes up as a plot point in my fanfic.

For those of you who don't know, Cheavy actually gets a 'Redemption' Arc in Take Back The Fortress...kinda. It's less about him redeeming himself in the eyes of Medic and Heavy and more so redeeming himself for Cmedic's sake.

In Take Back The Fortress, Cheavy and Cmedic have been separated for 20 years. Cmedic says that he was arrested for "any number of felonies" and was put away for it. The team was obviously shaken by Cmedic's sudden absence since none of them know he was arrested, and Blutarch decided to use this to his advantage.

Before Cmedic's 'death,' it's suggested that Cheavy was significantly calmer and more level-headed. He was firm with his team, but never overtly angry with them. He was what a team captian should've been. Strong, but not aggressive. This is why he and Cmedic became an item in the first place. Cheavy respected Cmedic's skills and intelligence, and Cmedic respected Cheavy's grit and leadership.

However, it's explained in chapter 7 that Blutarch actively and gleefully exploited Cheavy's grief after Cmedic's 'death,' turning him into a killing machine. Blutarch blamed the RED's for killing Cmedic, which was enough to galvanize Cheavy into a lifelong and deeply personal hatred for the RED's.

Blutarch's exploitation of Cheavy resulted in Cheavy becoming the violent and temperamental man we see in the comics. Cheavy developed a LOT of unhealthy behaviors from this period, and Blutarch continuously enabled these behaviors because they got results on the battlefield. Cheavy became greedier, more power-hungry, more arrogant and angry. He's simultaneously trying to fill the hole Cmedic's absence left behind, and trying not to show how badly Cmedic's disappearance affected him - which is kind of pointless since he becomes extremely irate and defensive whenever Cmedic is brought up.

The team obviously became worried about their boss going off the deep end, but Fred and Bea tried to reach out and help Cheavy down a healthier, less destructive path.

It worked for awhile, but Team Fortress Classic was disbanded shortly after, which meant that Bea and Fred were no longer around. Cheavy fell back into bad habits, though he did put on a more professional affectation when Gray Mann rehired the team during the events of the comics. At this point, 20 years have passed and Cheavy's started to accept Cmedic was gone, so he's not nearly as crazy as he was beforehand. This is why the team was willing to follow him since they thought he had mostly recovered.

Then Cheavy saw Medic. In Take Back The Fortress, it's explained later on that Medic being hired to the team set Cheavy off really fucking badly. Not only did it dig up all those old memories, it made Cheavy resent Medic less for what he did, but rather what Medic represented: Cmedic was gone, and this was his replacement. Didn't help that Medic still wore the RED uniform Cheavy had come to hate so much.

then Take Back The Fortress happens, and suddenly Cheavy is reunited with Cmedic. It should be a happy reunion, right?

Well...wrong. Because Cheavy still has those bad, unhealthy habits and behaviors to deal with. Behaviors that weren't there when he and Cmedic were together. Behaviors that are extremely alarming to Cmedic when they first show up.

And if Cheavy wants to salvage his relationship with Cmedic, he has to grow and become a better person for his sake. Let go of those bad habits, get into a healthier headspace, and just...stop being a piece of shit. When Cheavy realizes he's not the person Cmedic fell in love with, he actually does make an effort to be better, though it is a long and grueling process that takes over 40 chapters to fully realize.

So...yeah. I took that one line of dialogue and spun it into a whole-ass character arc. Go figure.

[fainthedcherry]

IT'S NEW YEARS OVER HERE SO LET ME LAUNCH MY BABIES AT YOU FOR IT!!!!

In case you want their backstories, I just recommend you go over to their Toyhou.ses respectively, as- typing on Tumblr is a pain for my PC. My PC hates Tumblr in particular for some reason, whenever I format text, and I can't LIVE without formatting text as a hobby-author man. xD

LINK TO MARCO'S STORY

LINK TO ZORRO'S STORY

For new users; Marco was made by Heavenly-Hellfire and Hollowed-Hartlocke. I bought him back in 2019! Still love him like it's day 1. My best, most adorable boy <3, he's become my actual role model, I love him sm ;:

In case you never read them before, hopefully you enjoy the reads!!! I hope you can forgive the older grammar on Zorro's. I def plan to rewrite it, once I finish working on my raider-code. (It's been taking so long bc I'm trying to learn to use the CSS mixin z-index class-type. I still can't figure out image borders for the life of me, but I learned rotation class-types LOL.)

I've wanted to redraw both their reference sheet for almost YEARS now. Ever since I've gotten Marco, I continuously evolved how I draw him, over and over, to a point his old ref had become a detriment, due to how differently I draw him nowadays LOL. One thing that desperately needed a redo for him especially, how his hair is supposed to be drawn + his wings. His wings looked like floppy chicken nuggets on the old one LOL. PLUS! I added a section of details, where I see artists I commissioned, struggle with or fail on. Hopefully the detail section is sufficient in fixing that! I'm not sure, if I should also add a mention, of Marco's dot details below the pink pattern, as even the distance between the dots is different. + I LOVE DRAWING EXPRESSIONS. So to also add a small box of extras for Marco's cool glowy eyes was a treat. <3

I plan to redraw his refs for his magic wind attacks perhaps, as for now, I have a shabby drawing, and I got a free animation program lately, so I can FINALLY unleash my years of experience animating, in the appropriate program now LMAO. My own limitations of using SAI to animate, was making my animations look choppy and bad for years unfortunately, so my art always looked very amateur-ish when I actually know how to animate..

Speaking of that, for the attentive...Yes, I plan to possibly try and draw a 360° turnaround of my characters, as the next natural progression of refs next. I am SO close, so so SO close to making my art finally look like it's part of my project I've been working on for years in private. Ever since this year, people have proven, that you CAN start an animated series on the internet, and it will receive an audience. I also wanted to start an animated series when I was a teen, and now that I'm an adult I can make it happen for sure, with the right talents. When the time comes, I might seek out a music producer and perhaps, if I'll have the money, hire animators, so that I'm not the only one who has to work on the series I planned.

For Zorro....He had it coming. Last time I drew his ref, he looked like a 16 yo/ mobian child, it pissed me off for so many years, once I learned how to properly make adult characters look adult lol. THE CEREAL SPITTER NOW ACTUALLY LOOKS ADULT AND LIKE THE BASTARD SELF HE SHOULD BE. I don't have too much to add to him, but I consider him still a WIP in my brain bc- RAIDER PAGE CODE. I WANNA FINISH. GRABBY HANDS. I CAN FEEL THAT IF I LEARN Z-INDEX FINALLY I CAN REALISE THAT CODE. I've wanted to make a code for my raiders 3 years ago already y'all it's painful to be patient w/ myself sdgkldslgdsg

I'm so satisfied, with my ref sheets finally looking, like a professional drew them imho!! If you disagree w/ that notion, feel free to tell me what's missing or where I need to improve on! :D

My 2024 started amazing and with laughter and appreciation for my friends, I'm so happy finally. 3 years in a row, all I did was cry each new year, and be in pain. 2024 feels like it could be my year. Year of the dragon, bless me with your energetic and powerful spirit please,, 🙏

ANYWAY. Forgive me in advance for watermarks, but I kind of? Am paranoid now over my art a bit bc my work is good now? Like I think I'm in the final stages of my artistry. I can feel, that I might find the perfect style soon. I need to experiment just a bit more. Just a bit more...I might consider loosening up my linework in 2024. I honestly still? Hate lineart? Like..My lineart looks good now, don't get me wrong but. I just love sketchy artwork so much more??? Sketching is so fun, creating is so joyful, when it's a sketch..But lineart kind of.....Ruins my art. I think I should loosen up. It's why I might change my approach a millionth time, but my artstyle has potential now. I don't feel, like my art is awful anymore or worth nothing, it now HAS worth, I now HAVE the right to have an ego about it, but some pieces still are missing, to give me the ultimate happiness and relief in my work. Perhaps if I do some more commissions, I might unlock my final potential? We'll see.

My aspirations for 2024;

Pass the prep-exam for my workplace (I LOVE MY WORK. I SINCERELY WISH I'LL PASS. I love work so much omg I don't wanna be fired so badly)

Draw more art of Finn & Marco so they finally pass Chloe in most images on TH (I REALLY DON'T WANT HER TO HAVE THE MOST IMAGES STILL. It should either be my comfort boys or C.I.Ta)

Be more experimental with mixing medias traditionally (I wanna start mixing mini craft-projects + my drawings or mix more pencils + markers and also glass pens + watercolours. I rlly rlly wanna experiment and go loose.)

Animate more and possibly even post said animations. I know animation takes me HELL OF A LOT of time, as I lack so much time to do so, but I'd love to do that

Stop stressing so hard over OTA's and commissions. I know I tell myself each year, "this year will be the year I wanna finish all my owed art!!" But every once and a while, I need to be a realist to myself, my optimism may be good, but it sometimes..Is a little over-eager. But I noticed in 2023, I really heavily strangle myself out. I haven't drawn any private art since 2020, really.....It says a lot about an artist, if they now haven't drawn a personal drawing and finished it, in the same quality of their owed work for 4 years now. I haven't been really honest to myself and my heart, and I'd like to forgive myself slowly, by allowing to both work on owed work, and start creative, passionate art-projects again, again, where I can let loose and just. Experiment. Do something new. Push the boundaries of my art. Combine medias, collages, etc, anything under the sun I wanna try. I limit myself so hard, over chasing a goal, I can't achieve, if I won't acknowledge, I'll cause my own death as an artist, if I continue to chase unattainable goals, I can't achieve, if I won't be gentle to myself.

Finish revamping my commission sheet. It requires, I draw new examples of course. The big thing I need to warn ahead; I will have a fat price-increase, due to work taking all the time I can have now. I can only work around 4hrs a day on art. My art takes around 20 hours to be finished. Every piece is done with love, with time, with effort. I'm not an artist, who adheres to algorithms. I'm an artist who lives with passion, with freedom in mind. I have an endless amount of ideas, I have an infinite amount of space and ways to create it. I am not a machine, I am, what an artist strives to be. To simply...Create. AI can go to hell, and drag NFTs along with it. I to this day get attempts to be hacked, by tech bros, believe it or not. I pissed off BAYC on Twitter once, and some butthurt idiot, is still trying to get to my Insta and Steam to this day. Won't happen anymore with 2FA idiot, lmao. I won't allow a 2nd hack to happen.

Finish giving ALL my characters on TH a floatie icon. I know w/ 100% certainty, that I got this task in the bag. This one is of no problem at all.

With that, thank you for reading my world-salad! Almost as tasty, as mom's olivier-salad. Yumyum. Btw secret lil teaser ig below here lmao. I started Finn's sheet too, and I've got it 1/3rds done, but I don't wanna burn myself out on ref-sheets, so perhaps you'll see Finn also reworked in a few months! ✨

[baratrongirl]

I keep having random dreams featuring Klavier Gavin. The other day I dreamt I was visiting some city I'd never been to before, it was 10pm or so, we were waiting for our suitcases to be unloaded from the tourist bus, and I saw Klavier rollerblading down the street.

He was wearing a black beanie, had his hair down, glasses, a purple jacket, a long black skirt, and rollerblades - and was pulling a purple suitcase on wheels. Like he was a tourist too.

And I called out to him, "Hey Klavier, I didn't know you knew how to rollerblade!" He replied, "I learned how to ice skate in Germany, this isn't so different!"

So that was weird, but he was only in the dream for a couple of minutes. It wasn't actually a dream ABOUT him. Nor did it have any particular message.

The dream I had last night was different. And I'm trying to decide what it means. I don't think it's a message for me, necessarily, but it's definitely an important message for someone.

I dreamt that I was Klavier's manager? Tour manager? Record company executive? Some kind of person with whom he had a professional relationship due to his music, except we were actually friends as well. And there had been some sort of competition to come up with light and staging concepts for his solo tour. We'd weeded through a bunch of video proposals and got them down to five or six artists to interview.

Klavier wanted to make sure that he would actually get on with the artist, that they shared a vision, and that there wouldn't be any more Valant Gramarye-style surprises. (Like, really! The man was still at the very least a witness in an unsolved murder trial - if not the suspect!)

So we were meeting these two Dutch kids. They were very young, like 18/19, so we were meeting them in one of their houses with parents present. The parents were very polite to Klavier, asking him what languages he spoke, and he told them, "I'm fluent in German, English, and Japanese, and I know some Borginian, Spanish, and Khur'ainese." They didn't ask me what languages I spoke because they just assumed I could only speak English because I was British.

Klavier was sitting on the sofa being really rockstar cool in dark glasses. He wasn't being charming and warm like usual because he didn't want to get any of the artists' hopes up. (If that makes sense? Like, if he was too friendly, they might assume they've won the competition/commission based on his attitude towards them.) So he was being cool and aloof, not talking too much and getting me to do most of the talking.

Because I knew him, it was obvious to me that he REALLY liked these kids' art but was worried about hiring them because they were so young, and he'd had the experience of becoming famous in his teens, and wasn't sure if it was the best idea for anyone.

After they'd done their presentation and talked about music a bit, the parents called us to another room where there was a dining table set up with drinks and snacks. We all sat down there and the parents asked Klavier what the kids' chances of getting the commission were. Klavier was cool about it, said that we still had several more artists to see, and we couldn't promise anything to anyone yet.

So the dad, who was an asshole, said to his son, in Dutch, "I knew he wouldn't like it, now you can go back to studying like you should be." And it was SO rude, they WERE studying, but they were studying art and not a "real" career. He couldn't affect the other boy's choices but he could make his own son feel bad.

Except in the dream, I understood Dutch. (I don't in real life.) Between seeing the boys' reaction and my reaction, Klavier figured out what had happened, because it was such a Kristoph thing to do, to put your younger relative down in front of others using a language you know they don't speak.

Klavier got angry, and his anger broke through the rockstar cool façade that he was trying to do. He said, "Actually I like your son and his friend's art very much, and if we didn't still have more artists to see, I'd give them the commission now."

The asshole dad was like, "How did you understand what I said? I thought you didn't speak Dutch."

Klavier said, "I don't, I only know a few important words like stroopwafel and speculaas. But I had an older brother who felt about my music the way you do about your son's art. And which of us was right about that - him, who thought it was a waste of time, or me, who has sold millions of records?"

It just feels like a really important message.

[chryzure-archive]

8, 12, 13, 15, & 18 for the artist asks? :3

8. What do you like most about your own work?

i like the sort of aloofness i give ppl in their expressions,,, ALSO I LOVE THE 00 DRAWINGS I DO… BIG EYES AND SOOOO POCKET-SIZED. i like the romance of my drawings as well <33

12. Show your favourite drawing from this year

okay so i know i answered w five different favorites from this year, but also i love catboy jacks and catboy azure…. finally got around to drawing them, so these count 🥰🥰🥰

13. Show your favourite drawing from last year

i’m still proud of this drawing 🥰🥰🥰 i want to redraw it though, mostly bc vampire!jacks as a concept is very funny. did i like the execution of it? no, but that’s bc it’s only good when jacks is near chrysi <33

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

THE IDEA THAT “IMPROVING” YOUR ART MEANS YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO RENDER. FUCK THAT. what’s wrong with line art? detailed line art? simple line art? if art gives you emotion, then that is good art!!! why do we give ourselves this standard of Realistic Rendering all the time… i know you have to know the rules before you break them, but also fuck that <3 i don’t agree with that rule totally… let me draw what i wanttttt,,,, this is why i will never ever become an artist professionally bc i like drawing in ways that make me happy, rather than in a way to learn (and i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: my english / literature class improved my art form a thousand times more than my art class. i think i just had a bad teacher, but ughhh. i’m over it.)

18. Do you have any larger projects you'd like to pursue? Like comics, shortfilm, a series etc?

possibly doing a “companion booklet” or an otherwise special edition of my own book where i have little drawings to accompany certain scenes in my novels :) i want everyone that reads my books to understand my vision when it comes to my characters specifically, so i’d absolutely be adding my drawings into my novel dflskljdflksdf

[cutebunnys50]

Things automatically become important when you love them. It doesn't matter what the thing is: it automatically gains value when you love it. This kind of conversion can also be applied to loving yourself.

That's why it's important to love loudly and visibly, if that's what you want to do. It doesn't matter if the thing is popular: a lot of things become popular because either it's really good (a lot of love or effort was poured into it) or a lot of people say it's really good (the people love it and spread that love and made the thing popular).

Instead of asking "why isn't this thing popular" or "why does no one like this thing-- it's so underrated/overlooked/ignored", you can ask yourself "how much do I love this thing" and "do I love this thing enough to get over the fear of being perceived as an amateur ("bad" art) or a loser (being the only fan, especially if it's niche)?"

Some people don't like characters only because they're popular; they developed an interest in the character because a lot of people loved that character, and they just followed the trail to where there was a lot of love/energy.

AI art will never pass the test of "true" art because art itself is effort and love (putting your time into something and making something new/something that didn't exist before). What AI art does is turn everything into slop/content that's consumed and then usually discarded in the never-ending quest for more. In real art, you can usually revisit it and wonder about why the artist made certain decisions (word choice, paint stroke, color choice) and that actually connects you to someone else and helps you see into their mind + understand them more.

AI art doesn't care for the fact that 90% of art is actually the struggle/journey. Art that comes from an artist's own experiences for example lends what they make some extra authority, believability, and impact. Kind of like why "professionals" exist as a concept: pros honed their craft or are really knowledgeable about something and they're important because you can't replace, say, 10 years of experience with microbiology (example) in a couple of minutes (of Googling).

Stories in general (like coming of age stories, hero's journey stories, or underdog stories) are compelling because you see the journey of the protagonist and see how they struggled but still (usually) "won." (If they die horribly, then the story is usually a warning about what NOT to do or something, lol. Or maybe there's some other reason the author/artist created that, whether it's good or bad.)

Most people aren't interested in stories where the characters are automatically good at everything and have no problems whatsoever (those characters are usually looked down on as "Mary Sue"s or "Gary Stu"s even if they're allowed to exist), but things like AI art immediately skip to the finished product/end result as if the (artist's and character's) journey didn't matter at all.

(Screw AI art.)

That's why, even if AI art looks really convincing and even looks good, it's still soulless. If not for the environmental impact, people should make as much as they want, but at least leave the real artists out of it. A real artist will always be better than an AI artist, even if the real artist only did a 5 minute scribble, because the real artist at least used their hands (or something else) to make something while the AI artist just asks the plagiarism machine to spit out slop. AI artists want the prestige and praise of being a "real artist" without putting in half as much of effort-- that's why some of them hide among real artists with their fake AI speedpaints and process drawings and pretend that they didn't skip most of what helps make art so good. If AI artists are so proud of AI art, they should say it with their whole chest. I suspect part of the reason they don't is because they know AI art has a bad reputation (for good reason) and they don't want to lose followers/money/etc. from admitting to using it, but deceiving people is always worse. A lot of AI art people don't have morals in the first place so they won't care, but lying to someone will cause an even bigger backlash than if you'd been upfront in the first place.

AI art is already being used to replace real artists because corporations and whatnot don't care about the environment, and they assume only the finished product matters. Someone who values love or humanity will usually be able to tell when what they're being presented with is devoid of it, however, and even if it does get so believable that you can theoretically get what you want at the click of a button, most artists probably won't be a fan of it because they're the ones who were thrown under the bus. In this case, it's a matter of taste, morals (environment), and ideology (not wanting to reward harmful behavior or practices), but it's here that I absolutely can't speak for other people. No idea if their desire for convenience will override all those other pesky things like not wanting the Earth to burn down.

Real human-made art will always exist as long as you have any surface and any kind of writing implement, but AI art can't be made without technology (computers, training data, programs, etc.).

This is different from things like machinery that helps people do labor because the premise is different: people assume the artist's journey and struggling is something you want to bypass immediately, but even if you feel that way (valid), it's the journey (movie) that makes the final result and everything that comes after it so good. Otherwise you're just creating pretty pictures in a vacuum, and the ease with which they can be made probably makes them less meaningful as a result. AI art can be forgotten after a couple of minutes, especially if you know it's AI. It's usually the concept of the art that's compelling, so even if they make a good idea happen, the AI part absolutely detracts from it. I mean, we're literally praising the human part here (having the idea), not the execution, which is the point of making art in the first place (making your ideas a reality).

When it comes to art and love (synonymous), "bad" art (amateurish) needs to exist for good art to exist, so it should not be shamed. It doesn't necessarily need to be shared but even if it is, it's good because you made something, and that alone is pretty amazing. It's proof of your existence and your own mind.

At the end of the day, I think the best kind of creator is someone who makes their characters (and people in general) think, "I'm glad that this person drew that character" and "I'm glad that person loves that character so much-- it really shows."

The passion comes first and the talent (in art) and everything comes after. That's how most people started, so I hope they're able to remember that feeling and even act on it, if they want to.

[callmeagardengnome]

˚ʚ in my head ɞ˚ | CHOI JONGHO

pairings ᯓ idol!jongho x music producer!bartender! fem!reader

genre ᯓ soulmate au, one-shot

synopsis ᯓ music producer in the day, bartender by night, you never had time to find your soulmate. little did you know that he happened to be the cute guy at the bar - and the one you hear singing falsettos in your head.

w.c ᯓ 2.9k

c.w ᯓ alcohol

author’s note: yes i got creative with this

not proofread!

masterlist

“cheers!”

the sounds of glasses clinking and beer chugging filled the bar as the night grew.

the bar wasn’t famous by any means - it was tucked away in a quiet corner where most people wouldn’t notice. yet, there were plenty of regulars that kept business going.

to you, nights at the bar were an escape. you had another job as a music producer - making beats for different artists and getting your tracks to play on the radio.

even though you were well-respected in the industry, no one knew your face. it wasn’t on purpose at first, but after a while, you didn’t see the point in revealing it. you could work on music while living a normal life, away from the paparazzi.

just as you were putting away the bottles, you heard a clear voice singing in your head - one that you’ve been hearing for a long time.

when you were young, around 8 or 9, you were alone at home when a voice suddenly broke the silence.

you tried to cover your ears as a boy sang shaky notes and an off-putting melody, but nothing you did drowned out the random voice you heard. obviously freaked out, you told your parents about it.

“honey that’s you’re soulmark.. you can hear you soulmate’s voice whenever they sing.”

night after night, you heard him singing as you tried to go to sleep. you must have gotten a theatre kid with the amount of hours he would sing - albeit bad most of the time.

but sometimes, you catch yourself humming along with his singing.

after a while.. he got better. when you were in high school, your soulmate continued to work on his singing and actually improved, which made you quite happy.

you started to make chips for the people at the back of the bar, his warm voice echoing in your head. the voice you heard now was clear, polished, emotional, velvety - almost like honey. it completely different than the one that you heard as a kid.

you wondered where he was, what he was doing right now. why does he train his voice so much? is he a singer? does he know how good he sounds? does he know that you exist?

you pushed these questions away, not wanting to get into another spiral. you focused on your job, listening to his voice instead of popping in earbuds.

˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆˚ʚɞ ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

the first time jongho heard your voice, he was stunned.

the idol had always been interested in singing, even before discovering his soulmark. from his childhood to his teenage years, he spent hours in his room, working on his singing and trying to get over the awkward, scratchy phase of his voice.

he remembered being in his room, late at night, when he suddenly heard a voice - a girl’s voice, humming softly out of nowhere.

initially, he thought that it was his imagination, or a sound that was coming from the TV. but after a while, the humming was in-sync with the song that he was singing.

he found out about the soulmark, and over time, jongho looked forward to your voice - even feeling sad even he hadn’t heard it in a while.

years later, he made it - he debuted with ATEEZ, becoming a successful idol with a fanbase. he finally got the job that he’s been wanting for so long.

despite the wins, he’s constantly thinking about you.

you may not know it, but your voice is actually good. even though you’ve never went for professional vocal lessons, jongho found your voice to be unique, smooth - he would actually consider singing a duet with you.

your voice became something that grounded him, something that gave him comfort when he was stressed.

and tonight, it was especially stressful. he had just finished a long day of rehearsal and recordings. not only, he hadn’t had an actual break in ages - he needed a place where he could sit down and relax, away from the cameras and microphones.

jongho put on his mask and cap, stepping out onto the street. he wandered about, until he found himself in front of a bar he’s never seen before. he was about to walk away until he heard the sounds of laughter that made him drag his feet back to the door.

he stepped into the bar, feeling the cozy surroundings wrapping him up like a blanket.

it was completely different than the studio he was at before hand. no bright lights, no loud music - exactly what he needed.

he suddenly felt a weird pull towards the bar counter. confused, he looked around, checking out the people in the place before his eyes landed on you.

you were behind the bar, wiping down a glass. “she’s pretty..” a thought echoed in his mind before he brushed it away.

jongho didn’t realise it yet, but your souls were wanting to reach for each other. he made his way to the bar counter and sat down in front of you.

you looked up, offering a warm smile. “hi, what can I get for you?” you asked, your voice smooth and sweet, something that he wasn’t expecting.

he glanced at the bottles behind you, before saying, “soju, please,” as he took out cash and putting it on the counter.

you nodded, retrieving a bottle of soju along with a shot glass. “here you go,” you said, placing it in front of him.

to your surprise, he didn’t ask for a bottle opener. instead, he opened the bottle with a spoon lying around on the counter. he then pulled down his mask and started to take a long swig of the soju, directly from the bottle.

jongho paused mid-chug, noticing your shocked expression. he set the bottle on the counter, wiping his mouth.

“sorry, it’s been a long day,” he admitted along with an awkward laugh.

you bit back a smile as you saw how nervous he was. “hey, i’m not judging. this is a bar,” you chuckled, collecting his money and putting it in the register.

from the corner of your eye, you watched as he nodded and continued to drink, more relaxed than earlier.

“you don’t have to, but if you want to talk about it, i’m all ears,” you mentioned, trying to gauge his reaction before you continued.

“i’m basically an unlicensed therapist to anyone that comes into this bar,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

jongho looked at you in surprise, not expecting the offer. he hesitated - should he open up? guessing by your lack of reaction to his face, he knew that you weren’t a kpop fan or at least you didn’t know who ATEEZ was. it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it..

he took another long chug of the soju before speaking. “there’s been.. a lot of things happening,” he sighed, his voice quieter. “work is stressing me out.”

you nodded, leaning against the counter as you listened. “yikes, i can only imagine,” you said, encouraging him to continue. “sounds like you got a lot on your plate”

“you can say that,” he replied, looking down at the empty soju bottle. “it just feels like time is moving too fast and i can’t catch a break. i mean- i can’t even remember the last time i slept properly.”

you studied him closely, seeing how his shoulders slumped down as he spoke. you reached out and patted his shoulder. “that’s a tough spot to be in,” you sighed, knowing where he was coming from.

“but at least you’re here now, right? relax a little, let yourself breathe- or even drink another bottle if you’d like,” you grinned.

jongho looked up, meeting your gaze properly for the first time since he sat down. it was strange, he didn’t even know you - he didn’t even know your name. yet, here he was feeling.. comfortable? safe? he wasn’t sure.

“thanks..” he mumbled out, his voice soft. “i didn’t think i would be talking about this tonight. looks like i needed it though.”

you gave a small laugh before taking his empty bottle away. “i’m more than happy to listen.”

“really?” he asked as you threw away the bottle, a small but genuine smile tugging on his lips.

“of course,” you snorted. “seriously, i’m here most nights so don’t be shy and come here more. there’s gonna be a bottle of soju waiting for you.”

he chuckled, “i might take you up on that.”

˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆˚ʚɞ ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

over the next few weeks, jongho found himself returning to bar whenever he could. he’d come late after rehearsals or performances, trying his best to talk to you as much as possible.

you noticed his visits becoming more frequent, but you didn’t mind. in fact, his presence made it easier to get through your shift - especially with the chats you both had.

“how long have you been bartending for?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“about.. two years? maybe three?” you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to think back to when you first started. “i only started because my other job isn’t stable.”

“other job?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “what’s your other job?”

you grinned, putting a finger on your lips. “it’s a secret.”

one night, jongho walked into the bar, his eyes landing on you. smiling, he went straight to the same spot at the counter like he did every time.

“hey,” you greeted, already reaching for a soju bottle to place in front of him.

but before you could set it down, jongho’s hand stopped you. “actually-“ he began. “i want to try something different tonight.”

“really?” you asked in surprise. “what do you want to try?”

“what’s your favourite drink?” he asked, leaning closer to you.

your lips curled into a smile. “my favourite?” you echoed. you started to move over to a few bottles and started to prepare the drink. “it’s pretty strong, but not overbearing.”

jongho nodded, his eyes not leaving yours. “i trust you.”

every time jongho came over to the bar, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your chest. you felt guilty - after all, you had a soulmate out there. hearing his melodic voice singing when you reach home didn’t help either. you had a soulmate out there, waiting for you to find him while you were fawning over another guy at the bar.

you convinced yourself that he was just a normal friend - ignoring the long gazes he would send your way, his laugh that made you feel butterflies and the compliments he would give that made your heart skip a beat.

and jongho would feel the same way too. each time he went into the bar, it wasn’t just for the drinks, or the atmosphere. it was for you. he couldn’t deny the way you pulled him in, the way that you made him want to know more about you, and the way you smiled whenever you looked at him.

yet, he stopped himself from being so attached to you. he would still hear the singing of the girl sometimes, the soft voice reminding him that his soulmate was out there. it didn’t matter how he felt about you - he knew that he had to see you as a friend, as hard as that would be.

˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆˚ʚɞ ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

the soft music in the background of your living room played as you set two mugs on the coffee table.

it was weird having jongho in your apartment.

it had been about 5 months since you’ve known each other, yet it feels like longer. the two of you only recently started to hang out at your apartment, with jongho saying that he finally had a ‘break’ from his job. the two of you got closer and closer, talking about random things that popped up in your mind.

“oh- and by the way, i’m an idol,” he said casually, scrolling on his phone.

“WHAT?”

“yeah you should check my group out sometime.”

while you told yourself to look into ATEEZ, there would always be things that would push you away. every time you were about to search ATEEZ in youtube, your manager would call you in for an extra shift, or you would have to go for a meeting with other artists about the track you sent them. it was almost as if there was something preventing you from watching him.

jongho leaned back into your couch, more relaxed than you’ve ever seen at the bar. “hey, where’s your bathroom again?”

you gave him a look before replying, “you go down that corridor and go to the door on the left.”

nodding, he put his phone away and walked away in that direction. suddenly, you heard a gasp coming from him.

“what?” you shouted, concerned.

“‘___’,” he said, eyes wide. “do you make music?”

you froze for a second before running over to him. the door he opened led straight to your home-studio, where your computer, your guitar, your keyboard - anything and everything music related was.

jongho entered looking at the shelves. he noticed that there were a plethora of albums and records from a famous producer, one that he recognised.

“is.. is this you?” he said, pointing to the album.

you hesitated, but decided to rip off the bandaid. “yeah-“ you admitted, avoiding his gaze for a moment. “sorry i didn’t tell you- i didn’t want to make it a big deal..” you said as you walked towards him.

jongho’s eyes softened, letting out a small laugh as he held your record. “hey, i’m not mad.”

“if anything i’m impressed,” he continued, studying the room. “i mean- i’m friends with one of the most popular and talented producers. how lucky am i?”

you smiled, feeling a blush creeping up on your cheeks. “you’re literally an idol, what are you talking about?”

the both of you started to talk about music, the conversation flowing even more than it did before. you moved around the room, showing him the different instruments and equipment you had, with him asking more and more about your job.

you could feel his excitement as your nerves faded away. “since you’re here..” you began, clicking the mouse on your computer. “do you want to hear a demo i’ve been working on?”

his eyes lit up as he nodded. “absolutely.”

“i haven’t recorded the vocals for this so i have to do it live-“ you clicked through your files and finally found the one you were looking for. “-so please ignore how dogshit my voice sounds.”

“it’s probably not bad,” he chuckled. “let’s hear it.”

your voice filled the room and you focused on the music, the rhythm and the lyrics, not wanting to mess up.

meanwhile, jongho was trying his best to not to combust with joy. at first, he was confused, trying to figure out why you sounded so familiar. the melody, the lyrics, the sweetness of your voice - it all fell into place. you sounded exactly the same as his soulmate.

you were his soulmate all along. you were the one he’s been hearing since childhood. you were the beautiful voice that he’s been trying to find the identity of.

jongho immediately grabbed a nearby microphone and started to sing along to the demo with you.

you voices intertwined seamlessly, perfectly even - like they were meant to be.

you’re eyes widened at his voice. you knew it, really well. you finally found the owner of the honey-like voice you’ve been hearing - the guy at the bar that you’ve been friends with.

for a moment, the both of you got lost in the music, blending your voices together, creating something magical and intimate.

when the final notes of the demo faded, the room was filled with a silence. jongho set his microphone down, his eyes never leaving yours, searching for a reaction.

“you..” you trailed off, not knowing how to begin. “you’re my soulmate..?”

“i never thought that my soulmate was right next to me,” he said moving himself closer to you. “hearing your voice in person instead of my head is.. incredible.”

“wha- you’re incredible,” you breathed out. “have you heard your voice?”

he chuckled, feeling himself get flustered over the compliment. “it sounds better with you,” he said reaching for your hand.

the both of you stared into each other’s eyes, unable to look away. you could hear your heart pumping, and the only thing you could feel was his soft hand on yours.

“i can’t believe it’s you,” you said softly.

jongho nodded, knowing exactly how you feel. “it almost feels like a dream- i’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. and now, it’s even more perfect than i imagined.”

he closed the gap between the two of you slowly, whispering a gentle, “may i?”.

you gave a soft ‘yes’ as he pulled you to him.

his lips brushed against yours, a feather-light touch that made your breath catch. the kiss was careful, as if he was savouring it. but soon enough, the kiss deepened, becoming more passionate.

then, something happened. soft music started to play in the background, echoing the rhythm of your kiss. the music seemed to harmonise around you, matching the emotions the both of you were feeling.

when you finally pulled away, the both of you were breathless and slightly flushed, your foreheads touching. the music slowly faded and jongho’s eyes were filled with a loving gaze.

“that was.. amazing,” he said, his voice low.

you smiled, giving him a peck on the cheek. “mhm.”

jongho tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as he muttered, “i can’t wait to begin our love song.”

any and all feedback appreciated <3

AAA im done with this series! im so happy and sad at the same time cuz i love soulmate aus and making them but at the same time, this series has to end sometime 🙁 hopefully i come up with shit as creative as this in the future, but for now i wanna thank you guys for reading and supporting me! i truly appreciate all you that read this and it makes my day to see how much yall enjoy it! BLESS YALL

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